self despise even more

Today I met a friend. Halfway talking she mentioned that I always talk about myself. She said I m self centered. It comes as a shock. I never thought of that as being self centered. One of my friend agreed that i do talk about myself but its ok to her as she is a listener. Maybe a lot of my friends also think that i m self centered just that they are nice and accept me as who am i m. I realise i m not only low moral and abnormal and violent but also self centered. I always wanted to be kind and help people. This seems to be opposite from being kind. So maybe all my kind acts are just a way to make myself feel i m kind but i m not kiind. Being self centered is just an additional bad character and my total marks i get for my charactor now is lower. I will try to not talk about mysekf when i m with my friends or lesser. Whichs means my you(means my blog) and my journel and Dr Cheng (my therapist) is the only 1 I can share with my life. But you and journel cant interact with me. Or maybe Phillips may read or one two more friends will read. Maybe I shd learn to keep things to myself and talk once a while to my friends. Or maybe i shd think more b4 i talk and hence talk lesser about myself. Nobody listens at home or even talks even my dog growls at me when i try to talk to him about things. I know I cant try to find life from friends. Although my friends are v nice, i cant expect so much about my friends. I can just try my best to not talk so much. Should be able to do it.